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I'm back, I suppose

Posted on 2014.06.19 at 16:33
Current Location: the red ranch house
Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: silence
Tags: ,
Hello all!

By now, all is probably none. I think everyone abandoned their LJ at least a year ago, and I know I haven't written in mine since Mexico. Even then, it was sporadic. But I've been thinking about starting it up again, for a couple of reasons.

1. This somehow feels like the safest place on the internet to write. I started a blog, but as soon as I got the notification that one person had viewed the entry, I bolted. No could POSSIBLY read here, since there's no one left! (Delusional, I know.)

2. I've been needing a place to work out my issues, and there are a plenty. During graduate school, I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and went on antidepressants. Although the medication helped, I still continued binge eating (which I have done since....middle school? As long as I can remember). As a result, I've gained probably 60 lbs since I started graduate school, for a grand total of 100 lbs since I left high school. I've accepted that I cannot do weight loss. Every time I've tried to lose weight, I only gain it back and more. The process of weighing myself was very triggering, and I ended up viewing my entire life's value based on that number. That's certainly not healthy. I need to figure out how to be healthy, but I don't know very much about it, except that I never want to go back to counting calories again.

3. I've been needing a place to keep track of sewing projects, as I have started plan to start sewing again. I'm in desperate need of clothes (from all of said weight gain), and I'm tired of clothes from the store not fitting and being cheaply made.

I hope this journal helps me work through my issues to create a life that more resembles how I want to be living.

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